inspirational
Unhappy Lil Zombies
We all have fears. We fear heights, we fear clowns, we fear spiders or the deep blue. Fear is as real as you make it. What we also fear is change which is the most paralyzing fear to endure. How can you live your life with purpose if you are not willing to change and grow?
We are like unhappy lil zombies walking around in our nice little comfort zones. Slowly sliding our feet across the ground, eyes glazed over, repeating the same routine over and over and over again. We are not full zombies, there is a glimmer of wanting in those glazed over eyes. There is a want for something better, something different, something we know we were meant to do, but then, yep, that fear hits you like a freight train the moment you even think about making a change. If I change something it may not work and then I am a failure.
We are on auto pilot unwilling to rock the boat. Why? Because it is frightening. We seldom go out of that zombie like comfort zone for the fear of failing is ever present. How can we make changes and grow? How do we face the fear of failure? You do it by retraining your mind on how to look at fear and failure itself.
Instead of being frightened of that feeling of fear, that weird feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, get excited! If you think about what your mind and body go through when you are fearful you’ll notice it is quite similar if not the same as being excited. So take that feeling of fear and turn it into excitement.
I now tell myself when that feeling of fear and doubt starts to creep in my mind, body and soul that great things are about to happen as I am about to change.
Now, there are of course instances where fear has a place. If you hear someone late at night in your house, if the smoke detector goes off or if you hear a rattle in an area known for rattlesnakes, fear is your friend in those instances. Why? Because it tells you, “Hurry time to react”. With that said it is time to use fear as your friend in times of change. You feel fear, you convert it to excitement and then you react.
You have to react, you have to do something with these feelings. Take advantage of what the Universe is telling you. Just like many things, changing is simple but not easy, but you can do it. The most successful people and companies out there thrive on change. They thrive on figuring out new and better ways to provide services and goods. I say embrace the shit out of change, love it, own it.
Now that we have talked about the fear of change let’s talk about the fear of failure. Failing is a necessary part of growing. If you are going to change there will be failing involved. You can either retreat the moment you fail because “damn that sucked” or you can say “damn that was fun let me try again”. Have fun with failure. Again get excited when you fail because every time you fail you are getting closer to your goal. Every “no”, every “rejected idea, every “sorry I can’t help you, it means you are closer to what you want. So, you failed? F#ck it, try again.
Time to join the living and embrace all those scary, exciting and thrilling feelings with a new attitude. Time to face your fears and live your life with purpose.
Thank you for reading this post. Please share it on Facebook, Tweet it on Twitter or Pin it on Pinterest. Also please leave me a comment, I love the feedback.
Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
Write Your Reality
For quite some time now I have realized the importance of getting my thoughts down on paper. We have so many of them, some that are absolute nonsense, some that are absolutely genius and everywhere in between. I knew I had to make these things called thoughts solid and grabbed some notebooks to do so.
There are many thoughts that you would never want to put down on paper. We have all had some odd ones I am sure but it’s those genius ones, those thoughts and ideas that pop into our heads that could literally change our lives, those are the ones I am interested in capturing.
Many people journal their day to day lives which is certainly a great way to discover who you are and who you want to be. I am proposing you go even further than your run of the mill “Dear Diary” kind of writing. I am proposing you write your future.
You will need a couple of notebooks, at least. The first notebook will be for your personal life and the second notebook will be for your professional life, you could also add on a notebook for your spiritual life. Or you could grab a binder and separate the facets of your life with binder dividers. What ever route you choose I do feel that handwriting these things is best. I think you connect better this way. (As I type this blog, ha).
First make a section for the people, things and experiences you are thankful for. Gratitude for what you already are blessed with is very powerful. It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling you are longing for, it reminds you of the great life you already have, it can change your present mood and attitude to a positive one. So thank away!
Next section write down how thankful you are for the people, things and experiences that you do not have yet but do want. Write these gratitude statements like you already have them. For example, let’s say you right now have a job that you are not thrilled with, write down, in this section “I am so thankful and grateful for my job, I love my boss, I love my company and what they stand for and look forward to contributing and be rewarded well for my contributions.” or perhaps you are wanting a relationship you would write down something like this “I am so happy and thankful that I found a wonderful man who loves and respects me, he loves the outdoors and loves the movies”. Be as specific as you can, really have fun adding the details that you really want in your life.
In the third section write affirmations. Always state I and make the statement in the present tense. “I am a successful writer and motivational speaker”, “I am weatlthy”, “I attract knowledgeable people who help me further my career”, “I attract loving situations”, “I have a great relationship”. Whatever you already have in your life and whatever you want in your life. Affirm these things with positive statements called affirmations. See the following past blog posts in the Archives “The “A” Word” or “There’s An Affirmation for That” for more ideas.
In the last section I want you to write the story of how you want your life to be. Again really get detailed when you write this. Write down the color of the exterior of your dream home, write down what the landscaping will look like, write down what the bedding will be, write down what the walls and floors will look like, imagine it as you always have but this time you are making it solid by writing it down. If you are wanting to find love, write down what color hair he/she would have, write down what their interests would be, write down what color eyes they would have, write down if they would have kids, what type of career they would have. It’s all in the details. Have fun with this it is really a great way to get to where you want to be and to get yourself moving in the right direction.
As I said above do this for your professional, personal and spiritual self. It is a powerful tool to get you going towards your true self. As time goes on add to these writings, things will start to change so you can start to change what you want accordingly.
You will want to go back to these writings daily, really feel the gratitude when you read the gratitude statements, really believe the affirmations when you read your affirmations and really get excited when you read “Your Story”. Ask, believe, receive.
Happy Writing!!!
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
The Myth of Motivation
Ah, that mythical little creature called motivation, about as easy as having another mythical little creature called a unicorn. Why is motivation such an elusive thing to grasp. I believe why we have so much trouble gaining motivation is because it does not exist.
Actually, it is the excuse we use when we don’t do what we are needing to do. It is that thing we blame when we don’t “Git R Done”. How many times have we said ” I just don’t have the motivation to do it” or “I lack motivation” or “If only I had some motivation”. Motivation makes us feel better about not doing what we need to do. Didn’t do it? Well it’s not my fault it’s motivations fault and where does that thought process get you? Nowhere.
Look up the word motivation in the dictionary, even the dictionary isn’t clear on what motivation is.
Where did the whole concept of needing motivation to do something start? I would say once things became more automated, when super markets became the norm, when motorized vehicles were thought into existence. Back in the day you did not need motivation, you did what you had to do to survive. You wanna eat? You had to work to eat. You want to be warm? You had to work to be warm. Oh you’re thirsty? Guess what, you had to work to get some water. To live day by day you HAD to do. It just isn’t like that in our day to day lives anymore so we now use motivation on why we do or more often don’t do what needs to be done.
Now let’s talk about the word “Do”. Verb – Definition to perform (an act, duty, role, etc.), to execute (a piece or amount of work). Nike’s slogan is simple yet genius, “Just do it” and those three words are the answer in a nutshell. It may be easier said than done but if you really want something out of life, if you really want to live your life according to your purpose you will need to start doing.
It is time to put on our big girl and big boy pants, yep that’s right it’s time to suck it up buttercup and stop blaming motivation and start doing. We are the creators of our world and our circumstances, no one or nothing else, contrary to popular belief, can “do” for us.
There are things you can do to get to “Doing” and here are a few of those things.
- First thing to do is – Do it
- Second thing to do is – Do it
- Third thing to do is – Do it
- And finally the fourth step – You guessed it, Do it!!!!
We spend thousands, if not more, hours of our lives talking about doing it, imagining doing it, making lists about doing it and dreading doing it. Whatever it is no matter if it is something that will eventually bring us what we want we will do anything to delay doing it. It is time to stop the insanity and just f*cking do it. Pardon my French but I believe the F bomb is necessary in this case.
Once you know what to do then do. Want to exercise more? Do it. Want to learn how to play guitar? Do it. Want to run a 5k? Do it. Want to write a blog? Do it. What ever it is you want to do, NOW is the time. Do it now, do it with love, do it with excitement, do it for you.
Right now I want you to think of something that you have been wanting to do. Figure out what the first step is to take and immediately take that first step. Do not hesitate, do not think about it, just do. Comment on here what that was and what you did to get started. You deserve a doing you.
Happy Doing!!!
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
How to Win the Lottery in 5 Easy Steps
“If only I won the lottery my life would be so much better.” A phrase or thought that has crossed most of our lips or minds at some point or another. I know I have fantasized and wished, at those times that I felt like I was down and out, that if only I won the lottery I could be saved from my money woes.
So you wish upon that genie’s lamp, or that falling star or a four leaf clover. Your wish being “PLEASE, LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY!!!”. You say and wish it with desperation. Then what happens after all that wishing, all that hoping, all that wanting? Disappointment happens, because once again you did not win the lottery. You are not going to be able to save yourself from your financial woes. That dream house slowly fades away in your “win the lottery fantasy” and no more traveling the world or living a life of leisure. You still have those bills, you still have a leaky roof, you still have a broken down car and you are now $2-? dollars poorer, the “?” depending on how much you spent for your lottery winning dream.
Alright Carol, I get it, I know I haven’t won big in the lottery so let us know, how do you win the lottery? Good Question.
Step 1
Stop buying lottery tickets to save you from your present state.
“Ummmm, how the hell am I supposed to win the lottery if I stop buying lottery tickets?”, I imagine you asking. Well the answer is this. As this website and it’s blogs have been all about the Law of Attraction, it all comes down to…… you guessed it, the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction says like attracts like. If you have thoughts of don’t, won’t, can’t, you will project a life of don’t, won’t, can’t. In other words negative thoughts attract what you don’t want, what you say won’t happen, what you think can’t happen. Now if you turn that around and think positive thoughts (true positive thoughts) then you are shown ways on how it will happen, you will be shown how to get what you want. You have to ask, believe and receive. A common phrase in the “Law of Attraction” world.
Step 2
Create your own lottery.
You may then say, “I have asked to win the lottery” and you may think you have believed that you can win the 300 million dollar pot, but really if you come from a world of lack how could you ever truly believe that you can have 300 million dollars just magically appear in your life. You may want it, you may wish for it, you may really long for it, but you don’t believe it. If you really were to be honest with yourself and try to imagine it in the real “now world” you have created, it is quite difficult to “know”that it could happen. You may be able to wish, visualize and imagine it, but you don’t really believe it, which is key. Your wish is coming from lack (a negative state). You want to win the lottery because your present world is lacking. This will not work.
Did you know that 70% of lottery winners go broke within a few years of winning. They won, they had it all, so to speak and yet they lose it. This is because they came from a place of lack, even after they win they can’t truly believe it and therefore end up sabotaging themselves.
So I say stop waiting for some magical Godmother called the lottery to come save you. Save yourself, create your own lottery, learn how to succeed in every facet of your life. You are the creator and controller of your life, only you can save you.
So here are the 5 steps I was talking about in the title of this blog that you can take to win an everlasting lottery.
- Train your brain to think positive thoughts by saying affirmations, by meditating and by reading blogs and books that pertain to the Law of Attraction. See past blogs of “The Happy Dance Experiment” and the “Good Reads” section of this blog for great books that help with these exercises. Also check out the QUOTES AND AFFIRMATIONS section of this blog. Soak your brain in all things positive, become obsessed with it!
- Discover your life’s purpose. See the blog “Discovering Your Purpose” on how to begin that process.
- Fail. That’s right, it will happen, you will fail. So fail gracefully, fail with gratitude, fail and look forward to the next failure because those failures are only bringing you closer to your goal.
- Ask. Be sure to be clear in what you want. Ask loud and proud and believe you can have what you want. It may not come to you the way you expect but ask, and believe that you will receive.
- Do. Once you start doing the above with all your heart and all the positive energy you can muster you will come up with tons of ideas on how to reach your goals. Some ideas will fail, some ideas will be magnificent and reward you with more magnificent ideas, with that said ideas do nothing if you don’t do something with them. DO!!! Do what your gut is telling you to do. If you don’t know how to do what your inner self is telling you to do, then begin with writing the idea down and start a brainstorm with that. You will be amazed how easily the “how” can start to come to you. Now, once you come up with the “how”, you must do! Do what the “how” tells you. Trust yourself, you know what you want and how to get it.
Start focusing on these 5 steps and create your own lottery. You will NOT need “luck”, you just need to get out of your own way and then you will be able to congratulate yourself for creating your own lottery.
Thank you for reading! Please leave me a comment, I love feedback. Also be sure to share on Facebook, Tweet on Twitter and Pin It on Pinterest by clicking the buttons below.
Carol Hays
Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
But Mom, I Don’t Want to Meditate
Meditation. Why does the thought of meditating freak people out? Is it the wonderful feeling of peace? Is it the ability to slow your thoughts down? Is it the powerful feeling you get when you are able to be “in the now”? Why, I wonder?
Truth is it freaked me out too not so long ago. I imagined I would have to be in a dark room with candles, incense lit, with a little Buddha statue in front of me as I hum cross legged with my eyes closed. It just wasn’t for me, at least that version of meditating wasn’t. To each his or her own of course.
So for many years now I have neglected this wonderful tool to reach a positive happy state. There is a saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. I decided it was time to stop the insanity.
So many books I have read on happiness and the Law of Attraction have mentioned the importance of meditation, I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I decided to exit my comfort zone and meditate and I haven’t looked back since. Great things happen when you have the balls to step out of that comfy and cozy zone we create for ourselves as a matter of fact another thing I have been learning throughout this process is if it scares you, you should probably be doing it. With that I implore you to give it a try. It may be hard at first but make the time and research tips and tricks on meditating. Remember this is for you, you may feel silly at first but you will soon start to enjoy and start looking forward to it.
To get you started here are a few tips that I have found helpful.
- This may be a no brainer but find a quiet spot where you can be alone. I find getting up a bit earlier and sitting outside to be my favorite. I have a great spot on our back patio that is perfect.
- Go on YouTube and search meditations. Be sure to save your favorite ones, they can end up getting lost in the shuffle. Also be sure to have some ear buds or headphones if you go this route. You will want to find some you like the day before you start meditating. Music and voices I like may irritate the piss out of you so find ones you like now so that you don’t lose any of that precious meditating time or just end up frustrated with the whole process.
- Learn how to breathe from your gut instead of your lungs.
- You don’t have to be in a crossed legs pose but do practice good posture.
- If you decide to go the no assistance route, meaning no YouTube guided meditation then find your quiet spot, sit with good posture, focus on your breathing being sure to breathe deep and when thoughts come to you (which they will) recognize them and then let them go. I simply say in my mind “I see you and let you go”. Don’t battle your thoughts just let them come and pass. As time goes on you will be able to go longer periods of time without a thought.
I suggest trying 10 mins at first and add on a minute or two each day maxing out at around 20 mins.
I would love to hear from you if you have other tips when meditating.
Meditating is a great stress reliever, it helps you to learn how to gain control of your thoughts and is a great way to start your day. As you get more comfortable you can use the meditating throughout your day as needed.
We are always talking about wanting a healthy body, it is due time that we also want a healthy mind and meditating is a great exercise to obtain a fit and healthy mind.
Happy Meditating!
Thank you for reading and be sure to share this post on Facebook, Tweet on Twitter or Pin It on Pinterest.
Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
“Excuscitis”
Ummmmmm, what in the world is excuscitis? Excuscitis is a phrase that was coined in the book “The Magic of Thinking Big” by Dr. David J. Schwartz. Most humans have suffered from this at some point in their lives, a good chunk of us on a daily basis in many facets of our lives. This ailment of the mind is paralyzing. It keeps you from living a purposeful life, it keeps you from accomplishing your goals. You can no longer ignore it, it is time to face it head on.
What is Excuscitis? Simply put it is the creation of excuses on why something cannot be done. I think a quote from Henry Ford states it best “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right”. Common excuses are, “I am too old, I am too young, I am not smart enough, I don’t know how, I don’t know the right people, I am not fit enough, I have such and such disease, I am fat, I don’t have money and I don’t have time”. There are many more but those are all common excuses I have heard and have used myself.
Why is it that we automatically think of 100+ excuses why we can’t rather than looking at the 1 reason why we can? We are our own worst enemy. You can do what you will to do. Only you and your excuses are stopping you and you can turn that right around by creating reasons why you can.
Have you ever encountered a “Yeah, but” person? I bet you have, I bet you even have said that phrase a time or two yourself, I know I have. They have every excuse on why it will not work, why it could not happen. I believe the cure for excuscitis, which is caused by fear, is taking action. Another phrase coined in “The Magic of Thinking Big” is “Action Cures Fear” ( see my post “Action Cures Fear” ).
Give me an excuse and I can show you a person who has overcome that excuse, a person who decided to say “CAN” instead of “can’t. A good example of this would be Matthew Jones, a cancer survivor who ran seven marathons on seven continents. He said “CAN”. JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, she was broke living off of state benefits and is now a multi-millionaire. She said “CAN”. How about good Ole Colonel Sanders? His famous 11 herbs and spices recipe was turned down 300 times before someone gave him a chance. The list literally goes on and on. These people and many more like them said “CAN”. They had every excuse to quit, to not even try but they persevered and there is no reason in the world why you can’t also persevere.
If you have a hard time breaking through that “can’t” barrier try asking yourself this question, “If I didn’t believe it was impossible, what would I do?” A very powerful question to ask. So time to answer that. Let’s say you want more money, a 6 figure income but you can’t seem to get past that “CAN/CAN’T” battle in your mind, well if you could what would you be doing? Great answers to that question would be,”I would study successful people, I would research good business’s to be in, I would study those business’s, I would surround myself with wealthy successful people, I would ask those people questions on how they have succeeded, I would buy books on successful living, I would dress successful, I would take great care of my body as I would want to enjoy my wealthy life for as long as I can”……….the list goes on and on. Most of these things are “FREE!!!”, so not having enough money is no excuse. We all have 24 hours in a day, the CEO of the company and the person on the corner asking for a dollar. So “time” is not an excuse. We all have the power to do what we will in this life, you just have to get past the fear of losing or failing. Just try, just ask, just do!!!
Remember “Whether you say you can or can’t, you’re right”, say CAN!
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
The Power of Tesla
At first thought you may think I am talking about the inventor Nikola Tesla whom was a believer in the Law of Attraction but you would be wrong, good guess though. I am talking about the rock group “Tesla”. You may know them from their songs “Love Song” and “What You Give”, if you do not know them feel free to Google their music or look them up on whatever music app you have acquired. I for one know and love them, so much so that I had the acoustic part in the beginning of “Love Song” played when I walked down the aisle at my wedding. There is a reason I bring them into this post, which I will get to soon enough, but first let’s travel back in time, shall we? Back to 2007………………………..
I can’t remember the month or date exactly, I am not even sure what season it was, I do know the year however due to a date on a concert ticket. I had called in sick that day, I was not sick physically but emotionally. I was having a hard time with life. I had lost my mom 7 years before, my dad, whom I had a close relationship with, had met and married a woman who I had an extremely hard time liking, I found out I could not get pregnant naturally, I all around felt like something was missing. Granted I had and have a man who I love dearly, I also had/have a warm inviting house to come home to and a loving family and great friends that truly are my family as well, but I still felt as though I was missing something. I would get down and feel empty. I was longing for the answer on how to be happy. I had many happy times but couldn’t seem to sustain that happiness. So that day that I called off sick I did what many people do when they stay home, I watched television.
I scanned and flipped through the usual (we do not have cable so there are only so many options). I flipped through “The Price is Right”, “Dr. Phil”, all those judge shows that are out there and then finally came to “Oprah”. There was a panel of people talking about a movie that they were a part of called “The Secret”. They talked about the Law of Attraction, they talked about what the have learned, how they have applied it in their lives and Oprah too talked about her own utilization of the law. I was intrigued to say the least. Though it was about a movie, the movie was also turned into a book and the book was all I could find at the time. I bought it and read through it with ease. This, this is what I have been looking for. I knew all it was saying to be true, I had done it many of times in my youth, but puberty, the limiting thoughts of my parents and negative thinking took over at some point. I knew from that moment on that things would change. It has been a process but the knowledge of The Law of Attraction has been with me ever since and has changed my life for the better. I am still studying and learning how to fully use it and will always be in that learning stage, life is and always has been about learning and growing. It is why I am writing this blog, it is how I have been able to discover my purpose in life, it is why I now know happiness can be and is mine to have.
Now, to get back to the title and one of my favorite groups “Tesla”. I read “The Secret” and kept reading it over and over and on a whim put it to the test. My husband and I were getting ready to make a 2 hour road trip to see his mom, we listened to the radio as we were packing up for an overnight stay when it happened. The local radio station announced that they would be giving “Tesla” tickets away to the 13th caller. They would be doing this every 2 hours. With my new found belief in the Law of Attraction I declared to my husband (who is a bit of a skeptic) and to myself that I would win the Tesla tickets at the 2 o’clock slot. Though I declared that I would win at the 2 o’clock slot, that did not stop me from calling the other times, I wasn’t a full on convert I guess and wanted to give myself better odds. I did not win at those times. The 2 o’clock slot came and it ended up someone else won, but I kept calling, I knew that I was the winner. My husband thought I was nuts to keep calling but then it happened, they forgot to do one of the time slots and were giving away one more pair. Guess who won?
I still have that ticket and use it as a reminder to believe, to say “CAN”, to never give up. Just when you think you have failed that is when you must keep going, your dreams, your goals and you are worth it.
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
I have recently discovered the power of positive affirmations and how they can rewire your mind. If you are anything like me your mind tends to spew out negative thoughts more so than positive ones. As a matter of fact it got to where I was creating whole scenarios in my mind that were filled with anger, fear and resentment. To walk around with these negative feelings all from thoughts that were non existent in the outside world seemed so absurd.
I have been reading books on self improvement, law of attraction and positive thinking since 2007, but not until recently have I really hunkered down and started utilizing the knowledge in these books. “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz really gave me that push to start applying these techniques.
The first of the techniques that I knew I had to start using and have avoided was daily affirmations. I have blogs introducing the subject, “The “A” Word” and “There’s an Affirmation for That”. It was such an awkward concept to grasp. I felt that doing them seemed self centered. Guess what? It is and it needs to be. If I am going to change me I have to start by focusing on myself and making me a better person. I have to rewire this mind of mine to go to positive thoughts that will help me grow and flourish and positive affirmations are the way to get there.
I have written about positive affirmations and how it is a way to rewire your mind. You have to do daily affirmations to get this to start benefiting you. Think of it this way. If you want to learn to play an instrument you have to practice on a daily basis if you want the music to flow freely and harmoniously. Daily affirmations also takes practice and before you know it you are strumming the strings of your life with little effort, it starts to become natural. Your whole being is joyous, happy and prosperous in all facets of life.
In the blog post, “The “A” Word”, I asked you to write down 10 affirmations and recite them twice daily, once in the morning when you first wake up and once in the evening before going to sleep. Then I took it a little further in my blog post, “There’s an Affirmations for That”, I directed you to YouTube to find a video that sends tons of positive affirmations to your subconscious mind. Now we are going to go even further.
Your assignment is to add mirror work when doing affirmations. It feels very odd at first but you will see right away how powerful it is to look into your own eyes while doing these affirmations. I took a big leap 2 weeks ago and I am telling you it is worth the initial awkwardness. You can do it!
As always thank you for reading!
Carol Hays
How to Change Another Person in 5 Easy Steps
Have you always wanted to change someone else but just didn’t know how? Well here are 5 easy steps on how.
1. You can’t
2. You can’t
3. You can’t
4. You can’t
and step 5 repeat step one. You can’t.
I know, I know. I did a bait and switch on you with the title but I think it is a subject that needs to be examined.
First let’s look at the reasons on why we would want to try and change a person or ask them to change. Sometimes the reasons are selfish ones. I want him/her to like what I like, I want him/her to have the same goals as me so I can get the life I want, I want him/her to change what they do to benefit me. Now you may tell yourself your reasons are not meant to be selfish but if you take yourself out of the situation and look at it from the outside you’ll see the reason is not for them but for you.
Then there are loving reasons we want to change a person or ask them to change. We fear for their well being, we had a wonderful experience and want them to have the same experience, we learned something new and want them to soak in the same knowledge, we want them to be healthy both inside and out, we want them to be happy.
Whatever the reason is, whether it be for selfish or unselfish reasons, it cannot be done. No matter if it is your spouse, your parent, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your grown child, your sibling, friend or neighbor. They all have their own path that they need to follow and experience. Some paths are paved, are straight forward and have bright signs saying exactly how to get to the destination and some paths are hilly, curvy and riddled with potholes, nevertheless the path is their’s and their’s alone to walk on.
It may scare you that someone you love has chosen the path that looks so difficult to navigate but you have to let go of that fear.
You need to concentrate on your path. I know how hard this can be. We love those around us and we want the best for them but the only way to influence those we love is to change our path’s to a path filled with love, joy, happiness, a path that radiates positive energy, a path that will make people say “Wow, I want to experience that”. Only you can change you and the same goes for others, only they can change themselves.
Instead of trying to change what you can’t about another person try this. Write down 5 things you love about that person, let them know what you love about them, focus on the good about that person and be a positive influence.
“Be The Change You Wish To See In The World” – Mahatma Gandhi
I am so grateful for my readers! Thank you!
Carol Hays
Does This Positive Thinking Make My Butt Look Big?
With this blog post I am diving into our minds and how they can affect our body. Positive affirmations, just as with anything else in our lives, will rewire our way of thinking in regards to our bodies.
First let’s talk about the negative affirmations we throw out there everyday when it comes to the subject of our bodies. “I feel so fat today, Ugh my butt looks big in these jeans, If only I were as skinny as they are” are a few examples. No one knows how to tear us down better than ourselves.
Wow, that last sentence really hit home for me. It’s like it typed itself. Why is it that we are determined to tear ourselves down? Is it to beat other people to the punch? Is it out of fear? Is it a lack of love for ourselves? I believe it to be all of these, but the one, the one that can make or break anything and everything in accordance to our lives is love. Love or then again lack of love for ourselves is the issue. The ultimate key to a happy existence is love.
Many of you may say, “I love myself, you are wrong saying I do not”. If you truly and deeply loved yourself you would treat the vessel that you are carrying around like a temple. You would nourish it with healthy foods, you would exercise it so that it is in prime condition to deal with everyday activity, you would tell it you love it with positive words, thoughts and feelings. If you are anything like me, you don’t.
Imagine this for a second, if you will. I want you to think about someone you love with all of your heart, be it your spouse, a child, a parent. Any of these will work. Now imagine you doing to them what you do to yourself everyday. Imagine telling them they are fat, telling them they can’t do it, telling them they are limited in life, telling them they are not worthy to be happy. This is what we do to ourselves everyday. This is not love. If we wouldn’t do it to someone else why on earth do we do it to ourselves.
I for one think it is a defense mechanism. If I lower my standards of myself than the outside world can’t hurt me. This thinking is devastating and will never give you the life you want and deserve. That is right. You deserve a happy, loving and fulfilling life and it starts with you learning to deeply and unequivocally love yourself.
I want you to go to a mirror (if you have a smart phone use the camera to do this), look yourself in the eye and tell yourself, “I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I am a magnificent person, I LOVE YOU”. Yes I want you to tell yourself that you, love you. I realize how odd it feels to do this. How corny it seems however I am telling you it is essential. If I told you, hey there is something you can do that is very easy and it will change your life in ways you can’t even imagine, without me telling you what it was I wanted you to do I guarantee you would say “I am in, what is it?”. So let go of your inhibitions and just do it.
Change your thinking change your life. Love yourself. Do it by nourishing your body with healthy foods that strengthen you, do it by consuming water that hydrates you, do it by exercising those muscles that hold you, do it by strengthening your mind with positive loving thoughts about your body.
Thanks for reading! Please send me your feed back by commenting. I love hearing from you!
Carol Hays
The Happy Dance Experiment 