motivation
Unhappy Lil Zombies
We all have fears. We fear heights, we fear clowns, we fear spiders or the deep blue. Fear is as real as you make it. What we also fear is change which is the most paralyzing fear to endure. How can you live your life with purpose if you are not willing to change and grow?
We are like unhappy lil zombies walking around in our nice little comfort zones. Slowly sliding our feet across the ground, eyes glazed over, repeating the same routine over and over and over again. We are not full zombies, there is a glimmer of wanting in those glazed over eyes. There is a want for something better, something different, something we know we were meant to do, but then, yep, that fear hits you like a freight train the moment you even think about making a change. If I change something it may not work and then I am a failure.
We are on auto pilot unwilling to rock the boat. Why? Because it is frightening. We seldom go out of that zombie like comfort zone for the fear of failing is ever present. How can we make changes and grow? How do we face the fear of failure? You do it by retraining your mind on how to look at fear and failure itself.
Instead of being frightened of that feeling of fear, that weird feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, get excited! If you think about what your mind and body go through when you are fearful you’ll notice it is quite similar if not the same as being excited. So take that feeling of fear and turn it into excitement.
I now tell myself when that feeling of fear and doubt starts to creep in my mind, body and soul that great things are about to happen as I am about to change.
Now, there are of course instances where fear has a place. If you hear someone late at night in your house, if the smoke detector goes off or if you hear a rattle in an area known for rattlesnakes, fear is your friend in those instances. Why? Because it tells you, “Hurry time to react”. With that said it is time to use fear as your friend in times of change. You feel fear, you convert it to excitement and then you react.
You have to react, you have to do something with these feelings. Take advantage of what the Universe is telling you. Just like many things, changing is simple but not easy, but you can do it. The most successful people and companies out there thrive on change. They thrive on figuring out new and better ways to provide services and goods. I say embrace the shit out of change, love it, own it.
Now that we have talked about the fear of change let’s talk about the fear of failure. Failing is a necessary part of growing. If you are going to change there will be failing involved. You can either retreat the moment you fail because “damn that sucked” or you can say “damn that was fun let me try again”. Have fun with failure. Again get excited when you fail because every time you fail you are getting closer to your goal. Every “no”, every “rejected idea, every “sorry I can’t help you, it means you are closer to what you want. So, you failed? F#ck it, try again.
Time to join the living and embrace all those scary, exciting and thrilling feelings with a new attitude. Time to face your fears and live your life with purpose.
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
Write Your Reality
For quite some time now I have realized the importance of getting my thoughts down on paper. We have so many of them, some that are absolute nonsense, some that are absolutely genius and everywhere in between. I knew I had to make these things called thoughts solid and grabbed some notebooks to do so.
There are many thoughts that you would never want to put down on paper. We have all had some odd ones I am sure but it’s those genius ones, those thoughts and ideas that pop into our heads that could literally change our lives, those are the ones I am interested in capturing.
Many people journal their day to day lives which is certainly a great way to discover who you are and who you want to be. I am proposing you go even further than your run of the mill “Dear Diary” kind of writing. I am proposing you write your future.
You will need a couple of notebooks, at least. The first notebook will be for your personal life and the second notebook will be for your professional life, you could also add on a notebook for your spiritual life. Or you could grab a binder and separate the facets of your life with binder dividers. What ever route you choose I do feel that handwriting these things is best. I think you connect better this way. (As I type this blog, ha).
First make a section for the people, things and experiences you are thankful for. Gratitude for what you already are blessed with is very powerful. It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling you are longing for, it reminds you of the great life you already have, it can change your present mood and attitude to a positive one. So thank away!
Next section write down how thankful you are for the people, things and experiences that you do not have yet but do want. Write these gratitude statements like you already have them. For example, let’s say you right now have a job that you are not thrilled with, write down, in this section “I am so thankful and grateful for my job, I love my boss, I love my company and what they stand for and look forward to contributing and be rewarded well for my contributions.” or perhaps you are wanting a relationship you would write down something like this “I am so happy and thankful that I found a wonderful man who loves and respects me, he loves the outdoors and loves the movies”. Be as specific as you can, really have fun adding the details that you really want in your life.
In the third section write affirmations. Always state I and make the statement in the present tense. “I am a successful writer and motivational speaker”, “I am weatlthy”, “I attract knowledgeable people who help me further my career”, “I attract loving situations”, “I have a great relationship”. Whatever you already have in your life and whatever you want in your life. Affirm these things with positive statements called affirmations. See the following past blog posts in the Archives “The “A” Word” or “There’s An Affirmation for That” for more ideas.
In the last section I want you to write the story of how you want your life to be. Again really get detailed when you write this. Write down the color of the exterior of your dream home, write down what the landscaping will look like, write down what the bedding will be, write down what the walls and floors will look like, imagine it as you always have but this time you are making it solid by writing it down. If you are wanting to find love, write down what color hair he/she would have, write down what their interests would be, write down what color eyes they would have, write down if they would have kids, what type of career they would have. It’s all in the details. Have fun with this it is really a great way to get to where you want to be and to get yourself moving in the right direction.
As I said above do this for your professional, personal and spiritual self. It is a powerful tool to get you going towards your true self. As time goes on add to these writings, things will start to change so you can start to change what you want accordingly.
You will want to go back to these writings daily, really feel the gratitude when you read the gratitude statements, really believe the affirmations when you read your affirmations and really get excited when you read “Your Story”. Ask, believe, receive.
Happy Writing!!!
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
The Myth of Motivation
Ah, that mythical little creature called motivation, about as easy as having another mythical little creature called a unicorn. Why is motivation such an elusive thing to grasp. I believe why we have so much trouble gaining motivation is because it does not exist.
Actually, it is the excuse we use when we don’t do what we are needing to do. It is that thing we blame when we don’t “Git R Done”. How many times have we said ” I just don’t have the motivation to do it” or “I lack motivation” or “If only I had some motivation”. Motivation makes us feel better about not doing what we need to do. Didn’t do it? Well it’s not my fault it’s motivations fault and where does that thought process get you? Nowhere.
Look up the word motivation in the dictionary, even the dictionary isn’t clear on what motivation is.
Where did the whole concept of needing motivation to do something start? I would say once things became more automated, when super markets became the norm, when motorized vehicles were thought into existence. Back in the day you did not need motivation, you did what you had to do to survive. You wanna eat? You had to work to eat. You want to be warm? You had to work to be warm. Oh you’re thirsty? Guess what, you had to work to get some water. To live day by day you HAD to do. It just isn’t like that in our day to day lives anymore so we now use motivation on why we do or more often don’t do what needs to be done.
Now let’s talk about the word “Do”. Verb – Definition to perform (an act, duty, role, etc.), to execute (a piece or amount of work). Nike’s slogan is simple yet genius, “Just do it” and those three words are the answer in a nutshell. It may be easier said than done but if you really want something out of life, if you really want to live your life according to your purpose you will need to start doing.
It is time to put on our big girl and big boy pants, yep that’s right it’s time to suck it up buttercup and stop blaming motivation and start doing. We are the creators of our world and our circumstances, no one or nothing else, contrary to popular belief, can “do” for us.
There are things you can do to get to “Doing” and here are a few of those things.
- First thing to do is – Do it
- Second thing to do is – Do it
- Third thing to do is – Do it
- And finally the fourth step – You guessed it, Do it!!!!
We spend thousands, if not more, hours of our lives talking about doing it, imagining doing it, making lists about doing it and dreading doing it. Whatever it is no matter if it is something that will eventually bring us what we want we will do anything to delay doing it. It is time to stop the insanity and just f*cking do it. Pardon my French but I believe the F bomb is necessary in this case.
Once you know what to do then do. Want to exercise more? Do it. Want to learn how to play guitar? Do it. Want to run a 5k? Do it. Want to write a blog? Do it. What ever it is you want to do, NOW is the time. Do it now, do it with love, do it with excitement, do it for you.
Right now I want you to think of something that you have been wanting to do. Figure out what the first step is to take and immediately take that first step. Do not hesitate, do not think about it, just do. Comment on here what that was and what you did to get started. You deserve a doing you.
Happy Doing!!!
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Carol Hays – Creator of The Happy Dance Experiment
The Happy Dance Experiment 